The Ivy, Sydney

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Have you ever seen

A smile from an Ivy patron?

Do the staff merely grimace

When you call your order out?

Do you feel like just another

Sheep in dirty wool?

To spend 150 million dollars

and to end up looking like a fool

or cool

depending on which side of the street your standing

if you get my drift

The Ivy, Sydney

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Another visit to The Ivy. Last night it was raining hard and the open courtyard makes the glamorous staircase a death trap. Moving between floors is going to be an issue for The Ivy patrons and I predict that there will be a constant queue on the staircase, this is not helped by some very poor design work. As you get to the bottom of the staircase you are forced either left or right of a pillar. Left takes you straight up onto a few steps and right takes you unimpeded. Either way it’s going to create a bottleneck whenever the place is busy.

The staircase, whilst beautiful is going to cause problems.

Tip: Most of the upper level is guarded by bouncers, they will initially try and turn you away unless you say that you have a booking and then you’ll go straight through.

Once upstairs we looked for a seat and found the beautiful mirrored table which essentially acts as a reception area in front of the lifts, we sat and were promptly moved on. “You can’t sit here” Oh ok, where do you suggest? No ideas were forthcoming.

Now, good customer service would have meant that we would have been taken to another seat and asked for our drinks order, but apparently The Ivy doesn’t need to have manners. If I had to pay off $150m I’d be extremely polite.

 Standing and watching the crowd it is clear that many people are coming in for a look and then leaving without buying drinks. I’d see this as a major problem. Sort out the service and create a welcome. The Ivy is gorgeous but it’s attitude stinks. I demand immaculate service and I demand it now.